Since I’ve taken a step back and a reset on my life, I thought there’s no better time than the present to talk about the importance of Self-Loving! I’m an extremely sensitive person and lack confidence in myself most of the time and the thought of self-love used to freak me out. I always used to think self-love means vanity or over enthusiastic confidence (which no one likes a smartass) and well then why is everyone promoting the idea so much? I then did some proper thinking and realised that self-love is needed in those times when I feel like my whole world is ending, my jeans aren’t fitting and the struggle to be the most perfect human being is just too unrealistic. Also, when the materialistic things start mattering more than the small achievements in my life.
Being a blogger can really test the love of one’s self, constantly competing and comparing does really take its toll and definitely lets me quickly come to my own defeat. But in my harvest of new self love, I have managed to stick to five key steps that have helped me in getting my groove back. And what may work for me might not work for you, but give them a try anyway and I’m sure at least one will get you a step closer in loving yourself a little bit more.
1. Detox from Instagram accounts that inspire you – Unfollow your favourites for a brief time if you have too, you can always follow them again when you know that you aren’t going to get depressed when looking through their feed. The minute I feel ugly about myself when comparing to other blogger profiles that are more successful than me, I unfollow them. This also happens when I feel like I want to completely start over and change my aesthetic to theirs. This is what happened when I tried the minimal vibe and it was a complete failure, because I was trying to be like someone else and not a reflection of my true self. You don’t have to delete Instagram, but rather shift your direction to something else for the time being, I found that following all things unrelated to blogging & fashion helped me discover other interests that I didn’t know inspired me.
2. Listen to a good Self-Loving Podcast – Never did I ever think listening to someone else preach could help me so much. In traffic or at work, plug in those headphones and let someone else’s wise words pep you up and direct you to loving yourself. I can highly recommend STYLE YOUR MIND by Cara Alwill Leyba. She has inspired me so much from being a #girlboss to showing up for myself and all things on how to be better, healthier human being.
3. Surround yourself with people who make you happy – Catch up with a friend you haven’t seen in a while or binge watch a series with your mum. I still live with my mum and although I see her everyday, I don’t always spend time with her as much as I should. I always find myself feeling whole when I surround myself with those who have a positive outlook on life and don’t take it too seriously. It’s these specials in our lives that can make us feel better about ourselves just by being in their company.
4. Don’t compare, it will kill you – My biggest contribution, comparing my photos, feed, followers count, blog, blog writing to others! It’s hard and yes we all do it, but I think accepting that each is their own unique person, with their own flaws and failures will help illuminate the comparison game. Instead of comparing myself to others, I’ve started comparing myself to myself. Focusing more on the achievable goals I have set and being content with what I have accomplished so far. ‘It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation’.
5. Treat Yourself – I sometimes like to take a long steamy bath with bubbles, incense, candles – the works! I find that it relaxes me most and when I get out I make sure that my room is all nice and tidy, candles are lit and a good series is on in the background. I like giving myself a mani or pedi and the occasional face mask! Treating yourself doesn’t always have to cost a fortune, it can be the simple things that you find the joy and self-love in most.
Here’s a quote, my feel good mantra that I tell myself:
Hat: Mr Price
Top: The Fix
Skirt: My Scattered Heart